Friday, May 13, 2011


I might have mentioned the other day that My slut finally admitted that it was the flogger that turned her on. We discussed it some more today while I was straddling her and fucking her ample tits. She's on her period, so she can't play. She gets bad cramps if she cums during that time of month, so she has no interest. I told her that I thought it was the cane because I never noticed her wetness before I started using the cane. I pointed out that is why she needs to tell me when something turns her on. I used the cane more lately because I thought that was what excited her. Not that I will stop using it, but I will use the flogger more.

Before that happened she came and sat on my lap and asked me why I was looking upset. I told her that I might have to revoke her slut card because she wasn't doing the things that earned her that name. She said I better not. So I pointed out the things that she did that earned her the title and she promised to work on getting back in that mind frame. She said something that she shouldn't, I don't remember what it was, and she immediately realized it and said please don't spank me. I told her that she never lets me anyway. She always finds a way to get out of it. Before anyone says I'm supposed to be the Dom here, remember she is learning this for me, and still struggles with submitting. Her response was that she hates the cane but I use it anyway. When she got up from my lap, she stood there for a second facing away from me. I asked her what? She said to go ahead and smack her ass. I did of course. I wanted her to ask for it. I also told her that was a smack, not a spanking. I am going to start spanking her now. She opened the door by equating getting a  spanking with getting a caning, so she obviously will take it even if she doesn't want it.

Neo Dom Tom commented on my last post about starting over with someone new, and did I enjoy coming home to My slut every night. Right now I don't due to some of the things I mentioned above. When she is apathetic towards me, it is more frustrating than anything to come home to her. I am not interested in leaving, especially due to my son, but if not for him I probably would not be with her now and she knows that. She knows the only reason I gave her another chance was because of him.

On another note, I am going to write her a letter later tonight laying out all the dark parts of me she doesn't really know about. I have to write it to her first instead of just telling her. Knotty little monkey mentioned it first, and I commented on it as well, that it is much harder to talk about these things with a long time partner than a new one. They think they know you and then you throw this curveball at them. I want her to know what is in my heart and soul before we actually discuss them face to face. Give her a chance to digest it some and formulate any questions she might have.Or maybe just give her a chance to get the hell away from me before it's too late...Just kidding, I hope...

Everyone have a great weekend. I will have most of tomorrow with just me and the boy. My slut is going to a show with her friend for most of the afternoon.



  1. I think my comment on when you seemed down the other day got eaten by blogspot's problems. Anyway I suggested that you stop using our slut for a few days. You will get the answer you need that way, is she interested?

    It looks like you have your answer. she does want this too. I'm happy for you. I know the girl is too , we spent some of our together time on Thursday talking about you and wishing there was something we could do to help.

    You mention that she said that "she hates the cane but I use it anyway". This is something the girl would say too. It is the fact that I do it anyway that is the hot part. I think she's getting to or is already in the place that you want her to be. She may not be able to admit it to herself or to you, but she may be aching for you to assume control more completely.

    best wishes as always,


  2. I'm a newby subby but after reading your last few posts I would also say that you need to 'assume control more completely'. I'm often made to do things I don't want to do or that I find hard to admit to liking but it's the being made to do it anyway that is the point. I always feel much more subby and centred afterwards. The 'learning' can be hard but pushing her can be very rewarding for her too. Of course I can only speak from my experience.

  3. William--what a great suggestion from the monkey! I think the letter is a great idea. You and I have a lot of similar issues, although my interest is more in control, and I struggle with that. I hope we can stay in touch about these things--it's good to have that unique perspective from someone else. Some of your comments have been very helpful to me.

    I have a slightly different situation because my wife and I were married only two years when I first started my journey. Still, you can't make a cuckoo clock into a wrist watch, so I'll never have exactly what I want. I always try to take the good parts and simply discard the bones into the garbage can and forget about them. Not always easy to do.

    But when I get to thinking how she will dress sexy for me when I want her to, wear a collar and call me sir because I want her to, let me spank her (she does like that, however) and tie her up--simply put, she is way beyond your average woman, and so is your wife. Fundamentally you might need a seismic shift at some point. But when the ground starts shaking you can't always control what else happens out there.

    I hope you can work it out with her. Besides telling her your deep dark sadistic secrets, you may also want to share your feelings as expressed in your last blog post. Maybe tone it down a bit, but it seems like she should know exactly how you feel, as difficult as that may be to express. i always find my lizard to be ready to listen. She is not judgmental, though, and that helps a lot.

    Good luck!

  4. Thank you Nick for wanting to help. I feel honored that you would take some of your precious time with your girl to discuss my situation.
    Miss D, I do intend to start taking more control of her. If she balks I will just keep trying until it feels more comfortable and natural to her.
    ND Tom, the letter helped I think, but we will see. It might have been the seismic shift she needed. She now knows the true dark side of me and I can feel more comfortable not having that part hidden. She isn't quite ready for a collar, though I hope she will be soon, and I haven't broached the subject of calling me Sir. I did tell her that I call my dark side William, so we'll see if she ever addresses me as such. That would be a good indicator that she accepts that part of me and is open to Him.