Wednesday, September 28, 2011

She read the story...

I asked her tonight if she read the story and she said she had. I asked her what she thought....and she said she didn't have anything to say right now.......GRRR!!!!!!

I have no way to tell what is working with her and what isn't when she syas that. So frustrating...

We did get to finally play tonight. It went moderately well. I caned her a bit, and I asked her if I could give her a couple hard ones after she was warmed up, and she wasn't sure. I told her I was going to give her a hard one and she could let me know what she thought. I gave her one, not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I didn't get a proper swing and she still said it was too hard. I'm not too confident that she will let me give her the caning I want to give her.

I then gave her a pretty good flogging where her ass got a bit redder than usual. She forgot to ask permission to cum when I was using the vibe, so she got 10 spanks afterwards. When it was time for me to fuck her, it didn't last nearly long enough due to it being so long and me having a lot built up. I was quite disappointed that after all this waiting, I didn't get to fuck very long. She said it was alright, but I told her of course it was alright with her, she got her multiple orgasms.

All in all it was only a fair night, and I hope it gets better soon...

William

My last letter to her...

I want you. I need you. I want to flog your ass until it's bright red, and leave it striped with the cane. I want to watch you jump from the sting of it on your ass. I want you to take it for me. To accept my pain as a gift. I want to leave marks on your ass that will last a few days, not a few minutes. I want you to lay there with your ass propped up on pillows so I can stroke your ass and play with your cunt. To feel it growing wet while I flog you. To make you cum as I cane your ass, giving you pain and pleasure at the same time.
 
I want to fuck you with my fingers then lick your juices from them, to taste your sex. I want to feed you my hard cock as you are on your hands and knees. To hold your head still while I fuck into your warm. wet mouth, feeling your tongue stroking the underside of my shaft. I flog your ass as I fuck your mouth. My sexy little slut.
 
I hand you the vibe and tell you to use it on your clit while I fuck you from behind. I want to feel your cunt spasm around my cock when you cum. I will spank your ass as you cum over and over. When you have cum enough, I will cum hard into your cunt as you have your last orgasm. Pumping my hot cum into your cunt as I grip your nicely beaten ass.
 
It's been too long and I need to take you My slut.
 
*********************************************************
 
I still don't know if she read this. I have to ask her about it
 
William

Sorry it's been so long...

I haven't posted in awhile because there hasn't been anything to really post. It has been really slow on the sex side. I sent her a story Sunday titled "It's been too long". She told me she read the title and agreed on monday, but she hadn't read it yet. She hasn't said yet if she ever read it. Saying that, she told me she was too tired on monday to do anything. I guess it hasn't been too long for after all.

Today I texted her to see if she was up to doing anything tonight, and she said yes. I told her she was overdue for a hard flogging and fucking. Her response?

"Yeah, I am."

Good sign I hope. I really need to whip her ass good. It's been over two weeks I think. She is definitely going to get pushed a bit tonight. I want to see what her limit is. I'm going to tell her I want her to take as much as she can so we know where her limit is. Hopefully she agrees to give it a try

I have a huge load of cum built up as well. I feel like I'm about to explode! Maybe she will let me explode on her face. I would rather in her mouth of course, even if she doesn't swallow, but I don't know if she is ready yet. I think I will ask her. Either way, I am going to bust a big nut tonight.

I hope this reconnects us sexually and gets us back on track.

I'll post the last letter I wrote her in my next post.

William

Thursday, September 22, 2011

One year Anniversary...

As of today I have been writing this blog for one year. Wow, I never thought it would last this long, or that I would get so many followers. I'm at well over 100 followers and over 80,000 views. I would never have believed it if you told me that a year ago.

I'm so thankful for all my followers and lurkers alike. Every comment means a lot to me. If anything I say helps anyone on a similar journey, or their journey is from the other side, it always makes me smile to hear so.

The day started nice with an early morning quickie. I played with her cunt and got her all wet before giving her a couple big orgasms with the vibe. She then asked me to fuck her, but I told her no, ride me. She climbed on and I asked her who she was. She told me she was My slut...Grins!!!

I didn't last long, but that was the idea. The alarm went of while we were fucking, so I had to get up soon anyway. It's been a long time since we had some morning sex. What a great way to start the day.

The downside is I think I caught a cold from somewhere. I don't know where, maybe the BBQ last weekend. I've been taking meds, so hopefully I will knock it out before it gets too bad.

We were going to play again tonight, but things just didn't work out. Maybe tomorrow, who knows. I do need to flog her ass soon though, and give her ass some stripes with the cane. I'm going through withdrawals...laughs!!!

Thank you all again for coming here and reading my ramblings, highs and lows, and occasional victories. I hope you enjoy my stories too.

Much thanks,

William

P.S.
Here's to many more years of victories...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Another good day...

My son had his last baseball game of the season, and a friend of mine was having a house warming party, so we had quite a full day.  My boy had a good game followed by some pizza with his team mates before we went to the party.

There we had some good barbeque and other foods. I had some good beer so My slut drove home. It was a very good day where we held hands and talked to each other, really talked to each other.

The boy made a friend riht away as soon as we got there, and spent the whole day playing with him, so he had a great time and the wife and I got to spend some quality time together.

Then we came home and we all watched a movie together. It's been a really long time since we did that.

All in all, it was a really good day, except for the end. I wanted to have sex, and she said she was too tired. Well, I guess I can't have it all. I think we are on the right track though. I hope you all are having a good weekend.

William

Friday, September 16, 2011

Date night...

Well it wasn't exactly a date, our son went with us, but we went out tonight to see his teacher play music at a local restaurant/pub. It was just him on guitar and keyboard, and a lady singing with him, but they were pretty good.

Anyway, we had a good dinner and listened to the music for about an hour and a half, then came home. When we were walking in the house, she was being sassy while I opened the door. I told her to go ahead, she didn't want to, she thought I was going to spank her. I told her I wasn't and let her walk by. She asked me why I didn't, and I told her I wasn't going to anymore. When she asked me why, I told her I thought the BDSM stuff was causing issues with our relationship, and that she had been pulling back from me.

She told me that absolutely wasn't the case, and she just hadn't been feeling well. She doesn't want to stop what we have been doing. I told her I missed playing with her cunt with my fingers, and then having her ride me. She smiled and agreed. I told her I wanted to get back to the things she was doing that earned her her "My slut" title.

She smiled big time at that one. It looks like we might be OK. We are going to start spending much more time together as a family to augment our closeness. This will hopefully open her up to more play in the kinky realm as well.

I told her we could back off on the kinky side if she wanted to, but she told me she definitely didn't want to. I am very relieved and happy to hear her say that.

Maybe things will keep getting better from here. Hopefully it was just a little rough patch there. I'm always optimistic.

William

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Days of confusion Part II...

I really appreciate everyone's comments. I wanted to write more here instead of just having more long comments by me.

Jazmine, thank you very much for your kind words, and I'm sure no one here was offended by you stating your opinion from your unique point of view. I haven't written a lot about how she has been pretty much an absentee wife for many years. Hiding away in the bedroom most nights. Whenever I bring it up she will come out for a couple nights and spend time with me in the evening, but then she will revert back to her old bad habits.

As I've been looking at it objectively the last few days, things really haven't changed other than the fact that when we do have sex, she lets me flog her for awhile, but not too hard. Like I said in my last comment though, she gets a massage every time, and then she gets her vibe how she wants it, and then pretty much every time we have to finish up with just missionary sex.

She allows the cane, but I am not hitting her very hard at all. I have hit my inner forearm much, much harder to show her what it was like. The marks are gone within ten minutes, so you know I'm not  hitting her very hard. When I did it to myself, the marks lasted about three days, and I didn't even leave a welt, just lines.

I'm really trying to give her the benifit of the doubt due to her past, and I have told her on numerous occasions, that if she didn't think she was going to be able to do this, we could stop and I would not bring it up again. It would be very tough for me, which I didn't tell her, but I would.  Every time she got mad at me. and that she was trying her best. The thing is, she isn't trying very much. I know she had an abusive past, and if she can't get past it, I will understand. But she can't keep telling me she wants to do it, and then she refuses practically everything I want to do.

I think I'm just going to tell her I'm not going to initiate anything any more. I can't keep getting disappointed. I've been living with that for over ten years, and I can't take it anymore. I think I would rather not have any of it, than to be constantly let down thinking something was going to happen.

I'm just going to revoke her slut card. She wants me to call her that, but she's not living up to the term. Not even close. Sorry to bring everyone down with my bad situation. I will try to have a more upbeat post next time. Maybe I will have to write you all a nice dirty story...smiles...

Thank you to everyone for lending a sympathetic ear.

William

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Days of confusion...

Somedays I just don't have a clue where this relationship is going. It seems like if I push to get things going where I want them, she gets mad about it. If I lay back to see how things are going to go, she reverts back to her old habits.

Saturday I wanted to play, but she wasn't in the mood. Sunday her period started. So another week of nothing after the last few weeks of hardly anything. I'm a patient man, but damn it! I don't know if she is really interested in trying things I want, or if she is just going through the motions to try to keep me just satisfied enough to not want to break up. She seems to be going backward very gradually, like she's doing it subtly in the hopes I won't notice. I notice everything. She seems to want to do less and less each time. I'm not going anywhere, but my needs aren't getting met. I don't want to go outside of my marriage for what I need, but I can only be so patient. The last ten years took all of my patience. There isn't much left.

I don't know what to do. I can lead, but I can't force her to follow. If she's not interested in really submitting to me, there is nothing I can do, or would want to do, to force her. I guess I'm just at a tough spot right now with no clear path at this time. I'm going to keep trying to make this work, but your guess is as good as mine as to where we are going from here.

William

Friday, September 9, 2011

She finally read my story...

She told me tonight that she finally read my last story. She still isn't excited about the cumming in her mouth part, but she liked the story, and said it was one that could possibly happen. So I will keep going with this path, not pushing the oral part, but keeping it in her mind.

We got to fool around last night for a little bit, and I got to give her a quick flogging, then I used the vibe on her. Her orgasm hit so fast and hard that she forgot to ask permission to cum. It was a very intense orgasm that hsd her crying really hard. She apologized for forgetting to ask, but I told her it was OK, she was just going to get ten swats for it.

She asked me what I wanted, and I told her I wanted a blowjob. I made sure to keep complimenting her for how good she was doing. She was trying harder to please me, and it was good. When I was getting close to cumming, I told her so. She didn't let me cum in her mouth, but she stroked my cock faster as she rubbed it across her lips. It felt great, and I was soon shooting cum all over her mouth. It felt really good, and I told her so.

Hopefully this is a sign of her getting more comfortable with the thought of letting me cum while she is sucking me.

It was a quick, but fun night. We just need to have some more nights like that, but without having to rush so much. I'm ever hopeful that things will keep getting better.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

William

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The sweetest kiss...

The story I just wrote for My slut. Hopefully she likes it...

*********************************************************


I take you in my arms and give you a deep and passionate kiss. Our tongues intertwined as they twist around each other like two snakes in a mating dance. My hands wander over your body, pinching here, groping there. Squeezing your full breasts and tweaking your hard nipples with my fingers.
 
I undress you and stroke your sexy naked body. Enjoying every inch of your sexiness. I lay you down on the bed on your stomach and kiss my way from your feet up over your sweet round ass, and on to the back of your neck to nibble at your earlobes.
 
I put a pillow under your hips to lift your ass up for me. I want a nice target. I grab the crop and start to lightly slap your ass with it, watching it jiggle from the impacts. I slap all over, trying to get your skin warmed up and a nice shade of red. You wiggle your ass teasingly and look over your shoulder at me playfully as I smack your butt. I grin and give you a couple hard swats. You gasp, but smile back at me with a sassy grin of your own.
 
"I want the flogger now.", you say to me.
 
I ask you,"What do you say then?"
 
"Will you please flog me?", you ask sweetly, but with a hint of desire in your voice.
 
"My pleasure.", I answer with a big smile. I love when you ask to be flogged. Such a huge change in a short time.
 
I get the flogger and start whipping your ass firmly since you are already warmed up. I give you about ten medium lashes, then give you about twenty hard ones, before going back to the easier ones. Back and forth I alternate between hard and easy, getting your luscious ass to a nice reddish hue.
 
I stop for a few seconds and drag my fingernails across your ass. I can feel the heat coming off of the flogged flesh.
 
I return to the flogger and start to whip you pretty hard, letting you know that this is going to be the finish, and it is going to get a little intense, but I know you can handle it. I give you fifty hard lashes, alternating from cheek to cheek. You squirm around a bit, but hold your position until I am done.
 
On the fiftieth lash, I give you the hardest one of all, then gently drag the flogger across your hot, red flesh. I reach down and stroke your ass with my fingers, and bend and kiss the spanked skin. I can feel the heat radiating as my lips touch your tender ass.
 
I reach between your legs and find you very wet, and your cunt drooling your juices on the inside of your thighs. I start rubbing your swollen clit, causing you to moan out loud and you hips to buck back towards my hand. I slide a couple fingers inside you and start to fuck you with my hand. You cunt grips my fingers as you fuck back onto my fingers. I can tell you need to cum, but I'm waiting for you to ask.
 
You gasp out,"May I cum?"
 
I tell you to ask the right way, as you struggle to hold back.
 
"May I please cum?", you ask again with a quiver in your voice. You are hanging on the edge, just waiting for the push to send you over.
 
I look into your eyes, and tell you,"Cum for me, slut. Cum all over my hand like a good little slut. I want to feel your cunt grip my fingers."
 
Once given permission, you gasp and start cumming hard. I can feel your pussy spasming on my fingers, Squeezing and releasing my hand as your orgasm pulses through your sopping wet cunt. You juices run over my hand and down my wrist. You are a turned on, slutty little wife.
 
Once your orgasm subsides, I lay back on the bed and smile at you.
 
"Come here and suck my cock like my good little slut.", I tell you. You smile at me and settle between my thighs. You lick your lips and take me slowly into your warm. wet mouth. Your head begins to bob up and down on my hard shaft. You pump your hand in rhythm with your mouth, stroking me as you suck the head.
 
"Mmm, that feels so good, my slut. You are getting to be quite the great cock sucker.", I compliment you. You smile at me with a mouth full of my cock, and you look adorable doing so. You continue moving your lips up and down the length of my hard cock as you pump the shaft. Like you are giving me a hand job with the bonus of your hot mouth trying to suck the cum out as well.
 
"I'm starting to get close. You are going to make me cum.", I warn you, and you continue to stroke and suck my hardness into your mouth. I know you are going to let me cum in your mouth, and the thought makes my orgasm build even quicker. My breath quickens as I feel the pressure building in my balls as the skin tightens. I feel that intense pleasure growing in my groin when I am about to cum.
 
With a deep groan, I feel the first spasm of my orgasm pump the first warm gush of cum into your mouth. You moan and keep stroking me as My body arches towards you. My whole body tenses as my seed spills into your mouth. You draw forth my passion into you, making me pant and gasp in erotic ecstacy. The pleasure is so intense I can hardly breathe.
 
Once my orgasm stops, I look down at you, and with a smile, you let my cum dribble out of your mouth. It runs down over your chin to drip on my belly. You look so sexy with my cum on your lips and chin.
 
I pull you to me and give you a big, deep kiss. I'm so proud of my slutty wife. You have progressed so quickly, that you still amaze me. The kiss is a bit salty and tangy, but I love it. What a good girl you are.
 
 
William

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Backing off a bit...

I'm going to take it easy on the things I brought up in my letter to My slut. I think I am going to really concentrate on what she already enjoys. So it will be lot's of floggings, and still some caning. She is handling it better each time. A lot more of the crop, hot wax, and the Wartenberg wheel. We used the dildo some the other day, and I will be using it a lot more often. She will be doing a lot more oral on me, but without the pressure of letting me cum in her mouth. Maybe if I back off on it, it will just happen like she said it almost did before. I will ask her to do it so I can see her. She is doing a different position so I can't see her face, but I love to watch her suck me, so I want that to change.

Pretty much I am going to let things progress as they will for a bit and see what happens. If she starts back sliding again, I will bring it up again.

Thank you to everyone who offered suggestions throughout this time.

William

Monday, September 5, 2011

Some new Darkness...

For your pleasure, a new story on my other blog.

Enjoy!

William

http://thedarknessinwilliamsmind.blogspot.com/2011/09/throat-fucked.html

Our status...

Well we talked more yesterday about the letter I sent her. Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for. She still thinks that I'm just going to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. She is fearful and resistant of my control. I don't think she is ever going to really submit fully to me. It doesn't look like it is something that she has any desire for. I hope I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like it.

What I told her to try to help her see it from my point of view, and to help her understand me was that the reason I let her back in, and the reason that our marriage started working again, is because she made my pleasure a priority to her. I pointed out the things that she did a year ago that earned her my love and trust again. I also told her that she had gotten away from those things a bit lately, and needed to get back to them.

I then asked her to look at the things I want, and to ask herself if what I want from her will really cost her anything. Will it harm her physically or mentally to submit to me. I just want her to look at it objectively, instead of emotionally. To trust me and know that even if she does decide to give me what I want, it isn't irrevocable. She seems to think it is, no matter what I say to her.

She did tell me that she may eventually let me cum in her mouth, but she wasn't sure or not. She told me that one time when she was giving me head, she was waiting for me to say I was going to cum, and she might have let me. Of course she was short on details as to when that was. I hope she was telling the truth, but there have been times in the past when she has told me similar things that I knew were untrue, so who knows.

All I do know is that I don't know anything about where this may be going. I just have a really strong feeling that I'm not going to get anything near what I want. I was aked by one of my followers if this would be a deal breaker. I have to say that I can't go back to vanilla, but I don't know what that would mean for my marriage. I don't want to leave my son, and another outlet for my desires is pretty much a no go. She would never agree to that. To much bad history there. So all in all, not a good outcome to what I wrote. I will keep everyone up to date on any new developments.

The one positive is that we did get to play Saturday. I got to cane her and flog her ass. She says she still hates the cane, but loves the flogger. I have a feeling that that may be the only thing she agrees to do. We'll see.

William

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Some more Darkness...

For the followers of my other blog, I just posted one of my better stories there. It just kind of flowed out of a dark place I've been carrying around apparently.

William

Link to my post:
http://thedarknessinwilliamsmind.blogspot.com/2011/09/ass-in-hand.html

More of her response...

It's amazing what people can read when they have a preconceived notion of what they are going to hear. My slut told me today that what I wrote her made her a little mad. I asked her why, and she told me because I wrote that I wanted to tell her what to wear...I was a bit shiocked momentarily, then I had to laugh. I told her she needs to re-read it. As you all have read, I told her I wanted her to start wearing dresses or skirts more often, and maybe lower cut tops to show off her cleavage. I never said I will tell her what to wear, I just said I would like her to dress more sexily. She said she would read it again.

I asked her to please do so today, because I really wanted to learn more about what she thought about my letter. She said she would try, that meant she wasn't going to, and she didn't. You would think she would make an effort to take 20-30 minutes of her evening to read and talk to me about something I felt was so important. I guess not.

My patience is wearing really thin here, and I'm tired of the one sided relationship. I hate being the only one working on it. Tomorrow there is going to be some serious conversation.

William

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Her response to my letter...

Her response was...nothing. I finally had to ask her if she read it, and she said she had...Still nothing. I told her that I was mad that she gave me no response and she told me she wasn't ready to talk about it. 12 years hasn't earned me the trust for her to tell me what she feels, even if it is to tell me fuck you.

Also, she was just feeling better from her bronchitis, and now she either caught another worse case or hers got much worse. I know she's sick, but DAMN, I'm am tired of her being sick over and over. She puts herself in the situation where she is succeptible to catching something. I know this sounds mean, but I have been dealing with the over and over, and my patience is wearing out. I used it up waiting for her to start being a wife, long before we started anything BDSM related.

Sorry to post a negative rant today, but I've been waiting a couple days hoping for something positive to happen. Instead it just keeps getting worse. Hopefully my next post will be much more positive.

William