Thursday, September 1, 2011

Her response to my letter...

Her response was...nothing. I finally had to ask her if she read it, and she said she had...Still nothing. I told her that I was mad that she gave me no response and she told me she wasn't ready to talk about it. 12 years hasn't earned me the trust for her to tell me what she feels, even if it is to tell me fuck you.

Also, she was just feeling better from her bronchitis, and now she either caught another worse case or hers got much worse. I know she's sick, but DAMN, I'm am tired of her being sick over and over. She puts herself in the situation where she is succeptible to catching something. I know this sounds mean, but I have been dealing with the over and over, and my patience is wearing out. I used it up waiting for her to start being a wife, long before we started anything BDSM related.

Sorry to post a negative rant today, but I've been waiting a couple days hoping for something positive to happen. Instead it just keeps getting worse. Hopefully my next post will be much more positive.



  1. Perhaps she just needs a bit of time to absorb what you've said. Perhaps she's absorbed the info but doesn't know how to instigate a discussion surrounding it. Perhaps it's overwhelmed her. There could be a million and one reasons why it's not yet been discussed.

    You've been patient for 12 years; waiting another week or so might prove fruitful and she might find the courage/be willing to talk about it.

    Good luck,

  2. hugs...i know how frustrating it is to write something from your heart only to have to ASK if she's read it. Regardless of whether she needed time to process it all, letting you know she had read it and just needed some time to think about it is basic courtesy.

    Try to relax and give her the space she needs, but i wouldn't let it go too long. She is used to you not pushing and she may think if she ignores it it'll go away. Hang in there. You've made progress, even though it's MUCH slower than you want.

  3. i'm sorry William :(
    Though as delectable says; it probably overwhelmed her. Maybe she hadn't realized just what it is hat you're doing in ttwd? and how important it is to you? she needs to process, and also find out her own thoughts and feelings about it. But yes i agree, she should have at least let you know she'd read it.
    I hope you'll get a break soon.

    Sweet girl.

  4. I'm sorry William. It's a devastating feeling, at least for me it was.

  5. I'm sorry that your wife didn't acknowledge she had read the letter you put so much effort and feeling into. Please give her some more time. Hang in there. :)

    Take care, Sky

  6. Sorry things are kind of bad right now, William...

    Though, I will say, I've been there before. Master has some pretty dark fantasies, and, sometimes if I have problems processing everything, I'll just kind of shut down for a while until I figure out how I feel/think about the situation. It's probably not that she doesn't trust you...just that she's taking some time to work everything out in her mind.

    I understand about the sick thing, too. It can definitely be hard. Just hang in there, and remember you're still making progress, even if it's slow!

  7. I'm sorry to William.
    I hope she can take better care of herself, if only for you for 2-3 months, she may enjoy feeling better and do it for herself, too.
    I always said I have to take care of me, for you, and you must take care of you for me.
    and we'll take care of each other at the same time.

    Twelve years is a long time.
    Maybe bdsm can heal things.

    Gosh, I am so rooting for you.
    You really outstanding.


  8. I am relly sorry, William. I can't really imagine how hard it is for you to watch her put herself in situations in which she is succeptible to catching something. It is my humble opinion that she should have told you that she is feeling scared and overwhelmed by your letter. Let her process it in her own mind, but keep pushing bit by bit until the two of you work it out.
    I hope you will work it out soon. Hang in there, I'm rooting for you.

  9. William--my lizard would not respond to my e-mail, yours won't respond to you. It amazes me how similar our paths seem sometimes. Hang in there. I feel like we are brothers in this fight.

  10. I appreciate all the notes of encouragement from everyone. I am trying to be patient. She did finaly tell me a couple things about how she felt when she read it.
    Yes Tom, our paths are eerily similar aren't they. I never had a brother, so it's a good thing...grins!!! I'll keep rooting for you, if you do the same for me.


  11. P.S.
    I will do a post tonight regarding what she told me.