Saturday, September 3, 2011

More of her response...

It's amazing what people can read when they have a preconceived notion of what they are going to hear. My slut told me today that what I wrote her made her a little mad. I asked her why, and she told me because I wrote that I wanted to tell her what to wear...I was a bit shiocked momentarily, then I had to laugh. I told her she needs to re-read it. As you all have read, I told her I wanted her to start wearing dresses or skirts more often, and maybe lower cut tops to show off her cleavage. I never said I will tell her what to wear, I just said I would like her to dress more sexily. She said she would read it again.

I asked her to please do so today, because I really wanted to learn more about what she thought about my letter. She said she would try, that meant she wasn't going to, and she didn't. You would think she would make an effort to take 20-30 minutes of her evening to read and talk to me about something I felt was so important. I guess not.

My patience is wearing really thin here, and I'm tired of the one sided relationship. I hate being the only one working on it. Tomorrow there is going to be some serious conversation.



  1. i'm starting to wonder if you shouldn't back off altogether for a little while? (maybe she'll miss her floggings! ;) ) Kinda make a statement that if she don't care you don't care?
    Sometimes we have to taste our own medicine to really see what we are doing, maybe she thinks you are over reacting, making to big a thing of it all? Remember TTWD is foreign to her, and ultimately not something she'd take as first choice. Maybe let her see what a big difference it has actually made to your relationship compared to how it was before?
    I dunno, rambling as usual.... I really do hope it gets better for you soon.


  2. I actually have been pulling back from her the last couple days. Withdrawing my attention form her the same as she has been doing to me.
    I hope things improve soon too.
    I did write a really good story on my other blog just now. I think you will see where it came from in my mind. Enjoy!!!


  3. this hurts me inside to read. You are such a terrific Master (Dom?) and i wish something would make her realize how intimate and incredible this kind of relationship can be. I have found complete and total freedom in my submission to my Master. Even in the things that used to trip me up severely that He has eased me through and lifted me above.

    I think sweet girl is right. and you are right to pull away. It's one thing to be hesitant. It's another to disregard and show a non caring.

    hugs and i hope it gets better soon for you.

  4. I do want to put a voice in for her too though -don't lose sight of the fact that this isn't something she's found out about and wants to explore, it is something she's decided to try to approach for HIS sake, so I do think she's due some credit for that! Unfortunately TTWD isn't for everyone and I don't think you can force it out. Coax it yes, but then there have to be something to strike the match against too.

    I can't begin to understand how difficult it must be for you to try to strike a balance between sparking something in her vs. forcing on her and between your needs and her's. I'm not envious of you at all in this.

    Oh thought just hit me! Have you suggested she read some bdsm inspired erotica?

    Gotta run, hang in there William!

  5. sweet girl i agree with you on what you've said. :)

    My reaction is not about the hesitancy on wanting to explore bdsm, it was the disregard of his letter. So many men won't even tell you what they want or feel, let alone do it in a letter.

    It's also a hot button of mine because in the past i've been with people who didn't acknowledge anything I'd written and it does sting. so that's also probably why i react so strongly to that part of it.

  6. Jazmine: I'm so with you on that last part -I've been stung too like that, a LOT (by an ex before ttwd), yeah it fucking hurts....

  7. awwwww...I am so sorry to hear this Sir, but please give her some time, maybe there is some reason behind her action, why she did not do it as yet.

    i wish you both good luck Sir and warmly welcome to my own blog also

  8. Hang in there.....keep encouraging the small baby steps. I don't think you're flogging a dead horse just yet but that's a womans's slant on things.

    If it's any consolation my OH spent months trying to talk me into going 24/7 M/s. I was extremely hesitant and reluctantly agreed for a 4 month trial period just to stop Him nagging! Knowing what I know now I'd NEVER revert back to bedroom only.

    I appreciate that's a bit further along the line than the point you're at, but the point is perseverance and continued encouragement CAN pay off, and be fruitful, longterm.

    Good luck kind Sir!

  9. I think a very frank, honest and blunt talk is in order. I think you should ask some very hard and probing questions to her: Does she like this aspect of the relationship? Can she REALLY give you what you need (in the long term)? Does she feel you are forcing this onto her? If she cant give you the submission you need, what are her thoughts on you getting a sub/pet to play with so you can meet these needs?
    Those sorts of questions (not those exact ones, those were examples, but use them if they help!)

    At the end of the day, I think you both need to say and really listen to what the other WANTS to say, not what they feel they SHOULD say.

    Most of the time it isnt pretty. But I think you both need to take a step back from all this and have a real honest conversation. And you need to have a plan for some of the outcomes that might come from this.

    You deserve to have your needs met and satisfied. She deserves to have her needs met and satisfied.

    I just hope that both of your needs are the same. Good luck, hun.


  10. My heart is heavy for you. I agree with the others who suggest that it may be time to abandon the letters and suggestions and have a face to face frank discussion. Then you won't have to be disappointed that you spent all your time writing your feelings down, only to have them not be read.

    Perhaps during the face to face, you can start with having her determine the best way that the two of you can get as much of your needs met by the other.

    Is this matter a deal breaker for you? For her? Talk about it. Fulfillment should be a two way street - otherwise resentment may set in.

    I truly wish you the best!

  11. Thank you all for your comments and well wishes. I will give them some serious thought. Later today I will post about a talk we had yesterday afternoon.