Withdrawal...

I'm having a little Sadist's withdrawal right now...

Not much to say about it. It does suck though...

Our afternoon...

I wasn't holding out on all of you, just our play time didn't happen until this afternoon.

We started with her usual massage, this relaxes her to take what I have in store for her. Then the flogger comes out to play. I worked her pretty good. She told me it hurt, and I said of course it did, that's the point. She still just doesn't mark or turn very red from the flogging. I have to get the other flogger, hopefully that will leave more of an "impression" on her.

When she had enough fo the flogger, I put it away and reached for the cane. Her response was I hate the cane, and that she wanted to break it. I laughed and told her she better not. I caned her for about 5 minutes before telling her I was going to give her a hard one on each cheek. I gave her a pretty good one on each side, but on checking later, the marks didn't stay....Grrr!!!

Now it was her turn to get some pleasure. I got her vibrator out and of course I had to check to see if she was wet. She was. I said it was OK if she enjoyed the flogging. I then corrected myself and said it's OK if it turned her on even if she didn't enjoy it. She said OK it does. Then say it I told her.

"It turns me on to be flogged", she said....YES!!! Finally she admits it.

I said there now you've said it, no need to be embarrassed about it anymore. I told her that if she ever needs to be flogged she can just tell me. She said she couldn't say that, but I assured her she will someday.

I then put the nipple clamps on her before starting in with the vibe. She had a couple smaller orgasms, but said she couldn't seem to get over the hump and have a big one, so I put my fingers inside her and started pressing on her G-spot. That did it. She went over the edge and started cumming and crying. I just kept telling her to cum like the good slut she was while keeping the pressure on her happy spot.

When she was done cumming she asked me to take the clamps off, so I did and rubbed her tender nipples. She asked me to please fuck her and I did. It didn't last as long as I wanted it to though. I was too turned on and it had been too long since we last fucked. She wasn't disappointed, but I was.

All in all it was a good time. She finally admitted enjoying the flogger and I got to cane her ass and leave a couple marks, even if they didn't stay.

I hope you all enjoyed hearing about my scene as much as I enjoyed doing it.

Everyone have a great Memorial Day weekend, and remember what it means. Thank a soldier next time you see one. It makes a difference to them.

William

A quick note...

I texted My slut that I wanted to play tonight, and that I would be using the flogger, the cane, hot wax, and I will be fucking her with my fingers until she cums all over them. I also said I want her wet lips on my cock and I would be licking her cunt.

Her response was that it sounded good to her. I asked her if she needed her flogging. Her response was, "probably". I told her I'll take that as a yes, and her response was a big smiley face.

Looks like things are going to be interesting tonight. I'll tell all about it later.

William

A damn slow week...

Not much of anything happened this week. My slut has come down with yet another cold. I will be so glad when school is over so she isn't around all those kids every day.

So needless to say there was no play or anything at all this week. She was being a brat tonight, and I just sat there listening to her talk shit to me. Later she went to take her shower and I waited for her to get out. I walked in to the bathroom as she was drying off and told her she was being a brat. She said it was because she had a headache. How that correlates I have no idea.

She told me she was just being a pain in the ass, And I said speaking of which she deserved to be spanked. She said not right now, but I walked up to her, put my hand on her ass, and gave her a hard swat. She looked at me in a bit of shock. My hand was stinging I swatted her so hard. She told me I was being mean, and I told her if I was mean I would have given her a lot more than one swat. I'm sure she had a handprint on her ass after that one.

That is it for my week. Sorry not much action this week. I guess I'll just have to pile it all into tomorrow night. Wax, flogging, caning and some serious finger fucking. I'll let you know how it goes.

William

Another frustrating weekend...

My slut didn't do anything wrong, she was just sick all weekend from her meds. Now this week I am off on Monday and Friday for furloughs, and she will be stuck at the school all week for something at the school that she can't get out of. So hopefully the last two furloughs I will have to do, and we don't get to play. I am not very happy about it that is for sure. I need to really give her a good flogging without having to worry about making too much noise.

I also want to use the hot wax on her again, but that requires a lot of time. It has been months since we played with wax, and I for one miss it a lot. I also get to bind her breasts for that so they stand up nicely for it. When you have 46DDD tits, they don't stand up when you lay on your back, so I give them a little help with my rope.

Her friend was having major problems with her man this weekend, and after she told me some of the things he was doing, she said that she was starting to realize what an angel I am???? I told her I am definitely no angel, but I knew what she meant and appreciated the compliment...grins!!! An angel doesn't have such wicked thoughts and desires.

That's about all that's going on with us. No fun on the weekends, but maybe I can get her to play with some wax this week. It will have to be an after bedtime session though.

I hope you all have a wonderful and sexy week.

William

She still won't admit it...

Tonight I flogged My slut again. I caned her ass too, which she still doesn't like, but I do so she takes it. What a good slut. I gave her a good flogging, but damn it's loud. I keep expecting my son to knock on the door asking what that noise is.

After I warmed her ass good she was ready for me to use her vibrator on her. The bad thing is her ass still doesn't mark very easily...I really hate that...She refused to let me feel the inside of her cunt. She didn't want me to know how wet she was, but we both knew she was. She came really hard and fast, which she didn't without the flogging last time. A point I brought up with her. I asked her again if the flogger turned her on, and she just covered her face in embarrasment. She still can't admit it to me, even though we both know the truth.

I laughed and told her that her cunt ratted her out by being so wet. Her response?
"Stupid cunt!"

I just had to laugh. Of course I didn't stop fucking her the whole time I was talking to her. Soon I will get her to admit that she needs my pain.

I fucked her for a long time until she asked me to finish because she was getting sore. Being the gentleman that I am, I kindly shot a big load across her tits. I'm just a giver, what can I say.

I will get her to admit her love of my pain soon. I can't wait to hear her ask me to flog her ass. For her to tell me she needs it. That will be a good day, and you will all hear about it as soon as I can post it.

Everyone have a wonderful and wicked weekend.

William

Last nights events...

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Getting back on track...

Her period is finally over, but last night didn't happen. She stayed up too late the night before and was too tired. She told me she owes me. Boy does she. More than she knows yet. She is really going to start paying for backing out when she promises sex. I'm tired of being all ready to go and having her say she's too tired.

I'm going to have to implement some punishments when she does this. I will let her know before hand that I am starting this. I will tell her tonight that from now on when she does this, she will get 10 hard swats with my bare hand. That is something she doesn't like. She needs to learn that I am tired of her making promises that she doesn't keep.

She is getting fucked tonight, I don't care what she says. And she's going to suck my cock before she gets fucked. It's been too long since she wrapped her lips around my cock. She needs to start showing me again why she deserves to be called My slut. I'm also going to finger fuck her until she cums on my fingers. I love rubbing her G-spot until she cums.

I'm not sure if she will get any pain tonight. Maybe just some nipple pinching while she is cumming. She loves that, and so do I. The clamps would be nice, maybe I will get them out too. I might even use the dildo on her for the first time. I want to totally overload her senses tonight.

I'll let you all know what happened tomorrow.

William

My letter-the after effect...

I asked My slut today if she is afraid of me yet. She laughed and said no. She still loves me and wants to be with me. Something I wasn't expecting though was she said she actually feels closer to me now that I shared something so deep inside myself. She said she knows it must have been hard for me, and I confirmed that I had wanted to tell her for a very long time, but I was nervous about how she might react.

I guess I didn't have to worry so much. Now we will see how she reacts when I start to implement more of the things I want to do and start exerting my dominance more. I guess we will see if anything changes. I certainly hope so, but either way I am glad I have that load off my mind and can be myself around her and tell her when I am feeling sadistic or want to control her.

Everyone have a great week. I hope I do, once her period is over of course.
William

Fiction challenge...

sin at "Finding my submission" made a fiction challenge and this is my contribution.

They were meeting for the first time, face to face. The hotel room had been reserved by his slut, and she texted him the room number.
She was there early so she thought she would relax by the pool and read her book. So engrossed in her reading, she never heard him approach. until she heard a whisper in her ear.

"Come inside when you're done slave, you're due an ass fucking.", and he walked away towards the room.

She scrambled to her feet as her heart began to pound in her chest. She felt herself get instantly wet as she ran like an excited school girl in pursuit of Master.

When she got inside he was already seated. "Undress and assume your position.", he commanded, and she quickly stripped and knelt on the floor with her ass up and her chest to the floor.

He pulled his belt out and began to whip her round tender ass. She needed this, and he needed to give it to her. Soon she was whimpering and crying, but she never attempted to move her ass away from his belt. She took it like the good pain slut she was.

He pulled a tube of lube from his pocket and smeared it liberally over his steel hard cock. Kneeling behind her, he grabbed a handful of her hair and entered her ass in one long stroke until he was balls deep in her. They both let out a sigh together from the pleasure. He from her tightness, and she from the feeling of being stretched and full.

He slowly began to saw in and out of her tight ass, making her moan in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He pulled her back hard onto his cock with a handful of her hair. Impaling her over and over. She was panting and moaning, begging for it harder.

He obliged his little slut by pounding her ass in long hard strokes. Each time pulling almost all the way out before burying his hard shaft deep inside her.

"I'm going to fill your slut's ass with my cum, my little whore. You will cum with me.", He instructed. There was no doubt in his mind that she would.

Suddenly his hot cum erupted from his cock into her. Filling her bowels with his hot seed. As soon as she felt the first molten pulse, her orgasm ripped through her body. Her cunt and ass spasmed in pleasure as her juices splashed on the floor. He could feel her ass gripping him as she screamed his name in pleasure.

He grunted as the last spurt filled his slut's ass. Pulling out he told her,"Clean your Master's cock, slave.", and she scrambled around to suck every last drop from his softening member. She gave happy little moans of pleasure for getting the treat she so dearly needed.

"That's my good girl. You have pleased me.", he said smiling down at his slave. She returned his smile as she looked up at him while still nursing at his cock.

William  

A letter to My slut...

Well I wrote a letter to My slut last night, laying out all the dark secrets in me. At first she was a little upset thinking that I was complaining about the things she doesn't do, even though I made a point to write in there that it was not my intention. We talked about it and I allayed her fears. She was afraid that she could never be what I want. I told her that as long as she always does her best I will never be dissapointed in her. If she gives me less than that, that will not be tolerated though. She also promised that she will work hard to get back to the mentality that earned her "My slut" moniker.

In my letter I basically told her that there is a part in me that wants to give her erotic pain, which she already knew,  but I told her that I want to spank, flog, cane, or all of those until she cries for me. That I want to spank her ass red so she feels it for days afterwards every time she sits. I want her to take my pain because it pleases me. I also told her that I will then hold her and kiss away her tears and tell her how special she is and how much I love her for taking that for me.

She promised to do her best to be what I want. She said it is very important to her that she makes me happy. I know she may never get to be the complete pain slut I would love her to be, but if she gets to the point where she lets me bring her to the point of tears I will be very happy. I will try to teach her to turn the pain into pleasure, and I can as long as she trusts me and does the necessary things I tell her to do so. I know how to guide her there as long as she follows my teaching.

So in all, I'm glad I finally wrote the letter to her. It was a bit scary for me to do so. You never know how they will react. She did make a point to tell me that she wasn't crying because she was afraid of me, just because she was afraid of disappointing me. I think that shows that she will make a strong effort to be at least a bit of a pain slut for me.

Thank you to all who responded to my last post with such words of encouragement and advice.

William 

P.S.
A funny thing, one of her friends is having issues with her husband where her husband is acting almost exactly how My slut used to act. She says every time her friend tells her something he did, she just has to say, "Holy shit!" is that how I was with my husband? She now really knows what I went through, and tells me that she must need to hear this to remind her of what she did and to not let herself get back to that point. She is upset with herself for the back sliding she has done lately and promises to make it right.

Communication...

I might have mentioned the other day that My slut finally admitted that it was the flogger that turned her on. We discussed it some more today while I was straddling her and fucking her ample tits. She's on her period, so she can't play. She gets bad cramps if she cums during that time of month, so she has no interest. I told her that I thought it was the cane because I never noticed her wetness before I started using the cane. I pointed out that is why she needs to tell me when something turns her on. I used the cane more lately because I thought that was what excited her. Not that I will stop using it, but I will use the flogger more.

Before that happened she came and sat on my lap and asked me why I was looking upset. I told her that I might have to revoke her slut card because she wasn't doing the things that earned her that name. She said I better not. So I pointed out the things that she did that earned her the title and she promised to work on getting back in that mind frame. She said something that she shouldn't, I don't remember what it was, and she immediately realized it and said please don't spank me. I told her that she never lets me anyway. She always finds a way to get out of it. Before anyone says I'm supposed to be the Dom here, remember she is learning this for me, and still struggles with submitting. Her response was that she hates the cane but I use it anyway. When she got up from my lap, she stood there for a second facing away from me. I asked her what? She said to go ahead and smack her ass. I did of course. I wanted her to ask for it. I also told her that was a smack, not a spanking. I am going to start spanking her now. She opened the door by equating getting a  spanking with getting a caning, so she obviously will take it even if she doesn't want it.

Neo Dom Tom commented on my last post about starting over with someone new, and did I enjoy coming home to My slut every night. Right now I don't due to some of the things I mentioned above. When she is apathetic towards me, it is more frustrating than anything to come home to her. I am not interested in leaving, especially due to my son, but if not for him I probably would not be with her now and she knows that. She knows the only reason I gave her another chance was because of him.

On another note, I am going to write her a letter later tonight laying out all the dark parts of me she doesn't really know about. I have to write it to her first instead of just telling her. Knotty little monkey mentioned it first, and I commented on it as well, that it is much harder to talk about these things with a long time partner than a new one. They think they know you and then you throw this curveball at them. I want her to know what is in my heart and soul before we actually discuss them face to face. Give her a chance to digest it some and formulate any questions she might have.Or maybe just give her a chance to get the hell away from me before it's too late...Just kidding, I hope...

Everyone have a great weekend. I will have most of tomorrow with just me and the boy. My slut is going to a show with her friend for most of the afternoon.

William

A keen observation...

One of my fellow bloggers mentioned last week that she thought it would be easier to start over with a fresh partner than to try to change the dynamic with your long time partner. Very astute little monkey. The odd thing is that I had thought the same thing many times. I have been with My slut for over 11 years and I find it quite challenging to try to really push her. For one reason I know that she isn't a natural submissive and is finding it very difficult to submit to me. Either because she can't or doesn't want to but loves me too much to say so. I know she wants me to be happy, but that doesn't mean she will be able to do what I need to be happy. When I have discussed it with others who are of similar tastes as me, I have no problem saying what I need and want, but with her, I'm afraid of scaring her or making her think I am a monster. Some days I feel like a monster. My sadistic side is really growing in me and I want to let that side out more. She is not the target for him though. She isn't ready for that kind of intensity.

I don't want to leave her for reasons more than that we have a young son together. I do love her, but there are things I need that I don't know if she will ever be able to fulfill. I want a submissive pain slut that loves bondage. None of these things describe her. Other than she can handle a fair bit of pain, she is far from being a pain slut. And as far as submitting and letting me bind her, we are not even close to being there.

I know I need to be patient, but I have been waiting for over a decade and my patience is wearing thin. The ideal situation would be for me to go elsewhere for the things I need, but she would never agree to allowing me to get that outside our marriage. She was cheated on repeatedly by her ex. So I'm basically at an impasse. Do I destroy my wife and child's lives, or suffer in silence. Neither option is very appealing for me. The last thing I will do is hurt my son though. Not going to happen.

I guess I will just keep on going and see what happens. Keep trying to encourage her to let go and hope for the best. The problem is I have been hoping for a long time, and I don't have much hope left.

William

A little clarification...

I wrote the other day, maybe yesterday that My slut was starting to enjoy the canings against her better judgement and won't admit it. I think it isn't exactly that she enjoys it, but that it turns her on. There is a big difference there. I have read a couple blogs written by sub women that they hated when their Dom found such evidence even though they professed to still hate it, or at least dislike it.

I am going to have to work on this aspect with her. Allow her to say that she doesn't enjoy it, but admit that is does still turn her on. I think that would be a big step for her to make. It will be very difficult for her to admit this, bu tI need her to do it. I think that will open the door for her mentally to accepting her inner pain slut.

Just wanted to put out a little observation I made.

William

Happy Mothers Day...

I hope the lovely Mothers who read my blog out there get spoiled a little today, even if part of being spoiled is getting a proper spanking or whipping. Have a wonderful day.

William

A better day...

Yesterday was better. We had some private time to play. I gave her a good flogging, but I am disappointed that her skin doesn't get red very easily. I flogged her for quite awhile until I was ready to get the cane. I told her I was going to mark her as this time.

I spent a long time tapping all around and give her semi-hard lashes. Nothing to leave a mark yet, but to acclimate her to it. After I did that for a few minutes I told her I was going to give her a hard one on each cheek.

I tapped firmly and gave her a pretty hard swat. Not as hard as I have on my own arm, but a pretty good one. She lifted her leg up at that one. She says it hurt, and I told her she could handle it. I then did the same on the other cheek. She now had a decent stripe on each side and I continued to give her lighter swats to warm her down.

We then finished with a good fuck. I looked later and one stripe was still there. Tonight she showed me her ass to check, and not a sign of anything. I asked her last night if it still hurt and she said no. I think I need to really step it up. I want the marks to last at least 3-4 days and for her to feel it all night.

She at least knows now that though it stings a lot when I do it, the pain doesn't last long. This is hopefully the start of some real caning going on around here. It's getting hard to hold back.

I forgot to mention that after her caning I checked her cunt to see if she was wet, she tried to stop me because she knew she was wet. She was quite wet, so it will get harder for her deny she enjoys it.

Her submission...

I've been asked by a few readers why I allow My slut to do things that are detrimental to her training. Well, the simple answer is that she isn't my submissive yet. I know I haven't written about it for awhile so some of my newer readers don't necessarily know our dynamic. The physical part is much easier for her than the mental part of giving herself over to my control. She was mentally and physically abused by her previous husband so she has fears about giving up control to anyone, not just me. She says she does want to learn to be able to submit to me, but it still scares her.

She trusts me, she says, but she is afraid to lose herself like she did before when she was basically brainwashed to do whatever she was told under threat of violence. She's afraid that if she gives me control she won't be able to get it back. I have assured her that I'm not taking control, she is giving it to me of her own free will and I'm not going to destroy who she is. I just want to help her be a better her. Get rid of the negative parts and build up the positive parts. She'll get there eventually, if I don't go insane before we get there.

Between the stress of finances and trying to get her to submit, I'm beginning to mentally overload.

A bit annoyed...

My slut has made me a bit angry. She thinks she is coming down with another cold. Whenever she gets a cold, it means no play time. The reason it makes me mad is that she has a weak immune system and she knows it, and yet she spends all day almost everyday at our son's school, exposing herself to a plethora of children's germs. She seems to get sick once a month and I'm really tired of it.

Sorry it wasn't a very upbeat post today, but that is about all that's going on. Hopefully things will improve soon.

William

What's on my mind...

I have her red corset laid out on the bed as I strip her naked. She knows what is coming and her body fairly trembles in anticipation of the events to come.

Once she is nude, I take the loose corset and wrap it around her waist, hooking it closed in front. Even before I begin to tighten the laces her figure is already beginning to be transformed. Her ample breasts are pushed up and her waist is pulled in. I walk behind her and start pulling the laces taut from the middle up. I pull one at a time until it is as tight as I can get it. I then work from the middle down towards her hips. Once it is fully tightened I stand back to admire her new figure. She now has the classic hourglass figure. Her breasts look to be about to burst out the top of the corset, and her ass looks deliciously spankable.

Being unable to bend over now with the constriction of the corset, I tie her arms over her head to support her. I grab the flogger and begin to warm up her ass and thighs. I walk around her, striking the front and back of her thighs, flogging her tender ass, even lashing at the top of her cleavage. I make sure her whole body gets a nice red glow about it. This is just the warm-up and I want her to be ready for the serious play.

Now that the blood is really flowing I grab the cane. She will be wearing My marks tonight. I will write my passion into her flesh. Tell her a story of My hunger. She will be my papyrus of Pain.

I begin with light taps all over her body. Up and down her thighs, across her ass and the tender globes of her breasts as they try to spill out of the top of the corset. She moans and writhes around, unable to stand still as I carress her body with My pain. I continually walk around her, striking up and down her body, not giving her a chance to anticipate where the next lash will fall.

I take a momentary break to feel between her legs. Her wetness confirms what I already knew. My slut is becoming My pain slut. I slide two fingers into her soaked cunt and quickly pump them in and out as she arches her back in pleasure. She is about to cum when I pull my hand away and resume her caning.

"Who are you?", I ask.

"Your slut.", is her reply.

"Who does this body belong to?"

"You Sir. It is yours to use for your pleasure.", she says.

I smile, she is learning fast.

I begin to really give her a stout caning. The welts begin to appear across her ass and thighs. The crossed pattern is beautiful and I feel my cock harden as it always does when I get to use my favorite implement. The wicked kiss it leaves on her pale flesh satisfies the Sadist in me. My blood pounds in my ears as my body heats up in anticipation.

Her ass is now covered in wicked stripes and I stop and run my tongue over them, sooting her pain with the wet heat of my mouth. I can taste her pain. Looking up I see tears rolling down her cheeks. I kiss them away, savoring the salty flavor.

My cock is so hard now it aches. It feels like it will burst through my pants. I once again reach between her thighs to feel her juices running from her nether lips, trickling down her thighs. I once again enter her with my fingers. Her cunt is burning hot and she arches her hips towards my, trying to engulf my fingers and take them deeper. I rub her clit with my thumb and watch her hips buck in response.

"May I please cum?", she asks.

"How do you ask, My slut?", I say with a slight smile.

"May I please cum for you, Sir?", is her breathless response.

She is so close and trying to not cum without my permission. She struggles to hold it back as I continue my minstrations on her hungry cunt. When I see she can no longer hold out, I whisper in her ear,"Cum for me, My slut. Give it to me. I need your pleasure"

Her back arches as her orgasm rips through her body. Every muscle spasming and locking up as wave after wave of pleasure is torn from her body. I continue rubbing her clit with my thumb as her cunt sucks at my fingers, the muscles contracting around my fingers, clenching tightly as she moans out her pleasure and agony.

I finally remove my dripping fingers from her sex and wipe some of her juices across her lips. The rest I savor myself. I lick her essence from my hand. Sweet.

I lower her to her knees after untying her hands. I use the rope to bind her hands behind her back before I release my throbbing cock. It is so hard it hurts and a stream of pre-cum leaks from the swollen head and drips onto her cleavage.

I slowly push past her moist lips with my cock. Her mouth is hot and wet as she begins to suckle me. I slowly fuck into her mouth as her tongue caresses the underside of my member. I take my time savoring her sweet kiss as she worships my cock. I can feel the blood pulsing through it.The cum is beginning to boil in my balls. Her sucking lips urging my load to come forth.

I take long slow strokes in and out of her mouth as I feel my orgasm about to erupt. With a groan I pull back and shoot the first hot jet across her tongue and lips. I rub my pulsing member across her cheeks as I paint her face with my liquid passion. The cum pumps from me until I am spent and her face is coated in my hot seed. It drips from her chin onto her ample cleavage, slipping down between her glorious globes. She looks beautiful wearing the sign of my lust.

I help her to her feet and inspect her body. Her ass and thighs bear the marks of My pain, and her face bears the mark of my pleasure. She has the marks of my ownership and knows I own her body and soul.

She will wear my marks tonight. She will not be allowed to clean up before bed. I remove her corset and lay her in bed. I curl up behind her and press my cock into the crack of her ass. I can feel the heat radiating from the welts as she flinches a bit from the contact. I pull her close to me as I close my eyes and drift off into satisfied sleep.

William