Sunday, March 13, 2011

What I've learned...

Aisha asked a couple good questions. She asked what I had learned in training my wife and could pass on to other Doms starting out. Also if there is anything I would do differently.

First the thing I learned the most about is patience. You have to have an over abundance of patience. Especially if you are in my situation where My slut is not a natural submissive, and is learning to submit for my pleasure as opposed to being something she wants for herself. I hope that she will learn to crave it for herself in time. You must also be flexible. There is no script for this. No "Dom's Handbook." If you are lucky, 50% of what you want to do will be accomplished, at least in the early going. If your submissive came to you looking to be dominated, I'm sure you will have an easier time than I have, but I doubt it is ever easy. The main thing in my opinion is to just keep working at it and hope for the best. I know that is what I do every day.

The main thing I would have done differntly is I would have started this much sooner. I wouldn't have let her get away with her disrespect of me. The way she treated me as if I were her abusive ex-husband. I paid for his actions for over ten years because I was the "nice guy", and didn't want to hurt her feelings by giving her an ultimatum. Sometimes you have to be the asshole and tell your woman how things are going to be, even if she doesn't want to hear it. It is still something I struggle with. I was raised by my mother and didn't have a strong male figure in my life, so I had to kind of learn this on my own. I think that is why I came to my dominance so late in life. I didn't know you could be a strong man and dominate your woman without being thought of as an abuser. I guess that comes from the way a lot of society has tried to emasculate men.

Thank you for the wonderful questions aisha. I appreciate your interest and your curiosity. Of course I am still learning every day, and I am far from being an expert. I hope this helps anyone who might be just starting out like me.


1 comment:

  1. Also to add one thought, from someone in a very similar situation as Will's, BE CONSISTENT. That is one of my difficulties. I sometimes find myself jumping from one project to the next. Being consistent in enforcing the rules regularly is not always easy for me.