Well I told her today while I was home for lunch that BDSM will no longer be a component of our relationship. I told her that she tried for over a year to be what I wanted, but it just isn't who she is. I told her About some of you submissive ladies who have tried unsuccesfully to make their husbands into dominants, usually with little success. She was upset and said she feels like a failure and that she hates herself for not being able to give me what I want. I assured her I don't hate her and that I'm not going to leave her. She asked me if I was going to get it elsewhere. I asked her if she was going to give me permission to. She said no, and I told her that was her answer.
I said that she just isn't able to submit for whatever reasons she has. Her past, her upbringing, whatever the reason or reasons. I told her that if she has such an aversion to using the word "Sir", there is no way she will ever be able to submit to me in other ways. She said she feels bad that I won't be getting what I need, and that she wants so badly to give it to me.
I was feeling a bit down as you can imagine, and she noticed it. When she commented on it, I told her that I will have days where I will be down. I won't lie to her and hide it. She has her down days for various reasons and lets me know about it, so I see no reason to hide anything from her.
We will have some rough times I'm sure, but hopefully we can get through them.
She asked me if I was still going to call her My slut, and I told her I didn't know. She said she likes when I do. I don't know if I will. I don't know if I will be able to have it part way. The nerves are still too raw right now to be able to decide what I will be able to do.
She claims to like the flogger, but I don't know if I will continue with it. I won't initiate it, but if she asks I don't know if I will. Time will tell how this all develops. I will certainly keep everyone up to date on what we settle on.
I hope I won't lose any of me wonderful followers, but I will understand if some of you go elsewhere for real life adventures instead of just fantasies.
I hope everyone has a fun and kinky weekend.
I also want to thank any veterans out there who may read my little blog. Thank you for your service.