She told me she started to read my story, but when she got to the "Sir" part she had to stop reading. It bothered her. She said it made her sound like a slave. I told her no, it is an honorific, a term of respect that I use at work all the time with customers. She said that I told her I want her to be my slave. She obviously doesn't really listen to me. I have never said that. I want a submissive, not a slave. I don't want to have to micro-manage everything she does.
Regardless, if she didn't like the beginning, I'm sure she'll hate the rest. The thing is, I don't really care at this point. I guess I will just watch my bondage porn, write my stories for all of you, and make the best of it. Any one looking for an online Dom?
Just kidding... kind of...
I hope you are all having a great weekend.
William
Oh William. I always check into the blog, but don't always comment, in the hope that you guys have turned a corner.
ReplyDeleteIt continues to pain me that your wife blows 'hot and cold' - things start to look quite promising and you take a step forward and suddenly her barriers go up, and you end up two steps back.
I seldom know what to say that would make the situation any better. Regardless, I contimue to admire your tenacity.
I appreciate the comment you made was in jest, but for many couples where one is kinky the other vanilla, play partners outside the relationship, of a sexual or non-sexual variety, actually works really well.
In all sincerity, do you think a play partner that would satisfy the BDSM aspects of you would be a possibility? You would both get what you want out of your relationship and it would remove much of the pressure that's currently imposed on your wife.
Please don't be offended by this. I only ask because it does appear that this could be a solution to your problem and I know it works for other couples.
DY x
DY,
ReplyDeleteShe would never be OK with it. She was cheated on by her ex and forced to be friends with the mistress, and has said on more than one occasion that she would never allow that again. I think it would take the pressure off of her, and get me what I need like you said, but it won't happen with her permission.
It was only half in jest by the way...
Thank you for you suggestions and just for following and reading.
William
William, you can email me privately if you want to. Not because I'm looking for an online Dom, because I'm not, although I'm sure you'd be awesome. :) But because we've had the same difficulties and I may have some insight for you.
ReplyDeleteI just emailed you maui girl.
ReplyDeleteWilliam
i honestly don't know what i can offer. It's hard to comfort someone from a distance, though i'd like to, and i sense that comfort in't what You really need, Sir. This little blogger family may be a virtual one, but we're here for you, to listen, commiserate, and drool over Your tales.
ReplyDeleteIt's not much, but it's what i got.
Big fat squooshy hugs, Sir.
I'm so sorry, William. I wish I knew something that would help...
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should try collarme? I'm sure you could find someone on there that'd be up for having an online Dom...
I can tell that you are conflicted and I am sorry to hear the latest development. I know that I asked if this was a deal breaker - and it doesn't seem like it is.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about truly embracing her position for a while? What I mean is go all in regarding her refusal. No mention of submission, no stories, etc. Just for a period of time. Perhaps this will highlight a few things - such as if you can truly be happy with the non-submission and also if she will rethink her position.
Can't recall if you tried really doting on her when she does incidental submissive things, like bring you a drink while she's down in the kitchen etc --Sort of like positive reinforcement.
Maybe the subtle approach may work. Can she move in the direction you want if you take the "Sir" off the table? If she agreed in deed and in spirit to your level of submission, but couldn't get past calling Sir, would that be good enough?
I wish you the best. My other wish for you is that you and she will find some combination that is enough of a compromise that the other can be satisfied(if not totally happy) without feeling resentful that they've had to give up too much.
Please keep us posted.
i feel your pain frustrtion and disappointment and I know that it s not going to help you at all and IM so sorry that there isnt anything i can do to help but im here to listen if you want a shoulder. I struggle a little with my dom - as you may have seen in my blog - so i can understand where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find a solution and I hope that you can find some sort of compromise in your relationship
I can only advise keep on talking - :)
love and big hugs kiwi xxx
hi William!
ReplyDeletemay i just say that DY has a point -would your wife be ok with it if it was totally non-sexual? I mean if she sets the boundaries for your activities with a playmate maybe she would be ok with that? although that takes a great deal of trust and humility.
Someone mentioned CollarMe, it's where I met Brutus -but be warned; it's an utter shithole with a great deal of idiots and trolls. As for online domination I will point you in Brutus' direction :)
OK to me it seems William was making a joke and now people are taking up on it.
ReplyDeleteIn any case I am sure he will find his way if that is what he wants.
Just want to give my 2 cents about the vanilla aspect of it.
I started when my relation was in advanced stage of deterioration, albeit I was also in denial. In any case I did not disclose it and it is not good for your real life relation.
So keep that in mind.
I have no experience with being open about it and how such thing would work.
By the way unfortunately today CM is a good starting point. But it is an absolute armpit.