Thursday, November 10, 2011

Answering a few questions, and an end of sorts...

I wanted to respond to some comments to my last post.
Miss Delectable, I don't talk about her wants in my blog because she quite literally gets exactly what she  wants every time we have sex. She only wants the vibe to have as many orgasms as she wants, than she wants me to fuck her until I cum. That's it, that's all she wants. I have asked her many times if there is anything else she wants to try, or any fantasies she has. She claims to have none. I've even suggested things, all vanilla by the way, but she says she just wants the vibe.

As far as just trying to be vanilla for awhile, we did that for the first ten years of our marriage and we nearly ended in divorce. The only thing that convinced me to give her another chance was that she said she wanted to try things my way. Before you think that we almost split because she wouldn't give me kinky sex, we almost split because she basically treated me like I was her ex who abused her, and took out all her disdain for him on me.

Yes this blog is mostly about what I want because the first ten years were all about her. I was practically ignored.

Having said all that, I am at the end of my rope where it comes to trying to have a kinky relationship with her. No she isn't naturally submissive, shown by the issue she has with just the word Sir. She claims to want to be what I need, but in all honesty, she won't ever get there. Am I going anywhere, no. What am I going to do? I haven't a clue, yet. This blog may become just a place to write my bondage erotica. At least here I get comments and even some praise. Who doesn't enjoy and need that occasionally.

I appreciate all the comments I have been getting lately, even the critical ones. It may seem that I'm just trying to force my needs on her, but I'm just trying to get what I need after not getting it for over a decade. She keeps claiming to want to do it for me, and that's why I keep trying to find ways to help her learn. After yesterday's conversation it is finally sinking in that she just can't get there no matter how much she claims to want to.

I want to make it easy on her to experiment, but even the easiest options I give her are too tough, so I've pretty much given up. I will tell her tonight that this will no longer be a part of our relationship. I'm sure she will argue, but that's OK.

We did have a quickie during lunch today to make up for last nights debacle. It was completely vanilla, but nice.

Hopefully my stories will keep all of my readers entertained. I will do my best to do so.

Thanks again to everyone who offered encouragement and constructive criticism.



  1. William, it sounds like there's a little bit of kink hidden in her somewhere! It's evidently not on the same level as yourself though. Perhaps a bit of restraining and some flogging IS her compromise, and you now have to lower your expectations.

    It does appear that she's not interested in the type of power exchange you desire or even a power exchange period.

    What about switching? Would she feel more comfortable in the dominant role? Would she feel more comfortable with an S/M union which doesn't necessarily require a power exchange? The question is, could you handle a submissive role? Could you switch regularly for play, thus compromising?

    Thus far you don't appear to have tried the above possibilities. It might be worth giving it a go!

    Compromising doesn't mean one gains, one loses out, it should be about a win-win situation.

    Trying to encourage her into your way of thinking over the last 10 years is not working, you've said so yourself. Time to change tactics and come at this from a different angle.

    Perhaps with a revised plan of attack and a fresh approach you guys can get to that win-win point.

    As always, good luck.

    DY x

  2. Can I also say that I am in a 24/7 union that functions well. Our kinks are similar and play and DD are generally wonderful. However, it should be noted that I don't always get what I want out of play because my needs and desires change depending on the type of day I've had, how frustrated I am, the type of mood He's in etc etc etc.

    There is no such thing as a perfect union and even if you guys get to the point where your kinks are compatible, there will still be issues. Any sub will agree with me on this one.

    Just sayin'

  3. Awww...this makes me sad. I'm so sorry. I've been reading about your trials and tribulations with your wife for awhile. It's been tough for you. :( Honestly, I must compliment you on having been so patient and understanding with her. It sounds like she has some major issues (no offense intended) and surely forcing your needs on her would have only done more harm than good to your relationship. It sucks though, because your needs are (and have been for a very long time) neglected. I can't imagine living that way. You must love her very much, despite her issues. Your a good man.
    All I can say is that her "issues" with D/s, or at least some of them, probably stem from her abusive past with her ex. Abuse of any kind breeds fear, hatred, and rsentment. What he did to her probably stuck and did some real damage, and now...well, even if she wants too, deep down, she just can't commit. She's afraid of being hurt again, has trust issues maybe. And that may never go away. Kuddos to you for trying to love and nurture her through it, even if it ends in failure.


  4. William--please do continue to ply us with your wildly erotic stories. As you know that's all the link I get too.