I have to confess. When I told My slut that I was going to stop the BDSM in our relationship, It was a bit of a ruse. A risky one, but a ruse none the less. I know her and when she gets mired down and loses her way, no amount of my cajoling can get her back on track. She needs a swift kick in the ass. I took a calculated gamble that this would jump start her and get her back on track. I was about 95% sure it would work, but it could have bitten me in the ass.
A little over a year ago when we were on the verge of divorce, it took the threat of divorce to make her realize she was screwing up so badly. I didn't do that on purpose, she was the one who walked out for no good reason. She accused me of something I didn't do, and when she left, I didn't ask her back. That made her wake up. While I didn't plan it, I learned from it.
I do take responsibility for letting her get to that point. A mistake I won't make again. I have to make sure I catch her when she first starts to slip, not let her get too far gone. A good sign that she is indeed back on the path is that when I got home today she had cleaned up her nightstand. It had been a disaster for about 9 months, and I have asked her many times to clean it up to no avail. Today it's done. I made a big point of thanking her and showing her a lot of love for it.
In answer to Miss Only His, what will keep her in line from now on is me. I am still learning and I still struggle with trying to be the good guy. I need to just be her husband and make sure she stays on track.
Here is the list of things we agreed to do for now. Things may be added later, but she hates not knowing what is coming next, and this list gives her a sense of knowing what could happen on any day.
The cuffs I made her - arms in front
The vibe - To give her the last most intense orgasm only, not to get her going. I love to feel her wet cunt.
Cumming on her face, and eventually cumming in her mouth when she is ready.
Having to ask permission before cumming
No panties in bed - except during her period.
I also reminded her that she will have to constantly work to keep her "slut card". She agreed that she did lose sight of that before.
I hope that with the pressure off, she will relax and eventually be able to submit to me even more. If she can't she can't, but I think she may surprise all of us. It will just take her a lot longer than I hoped for. That's OK. I've waited over ten years, I can give her a little more time.
Thank you to all who gave me encouragement and kicks in the ass as well. Here's to the new slower, but hopefully more succesful path.