Friday, December 2, 2011

Auugh!!!...vanilla living...

It's been pretty vanilla around here lately. We had some pretty hot sex the other night, but it was strictly vanilla. I have pretty much resigned myself to mostly that. There will be smatterings of kink here and there, but nothing like what I need. She asked if I was going to use the cane and flogger the other night, and I told her not that night. When she asked me why, I told her that when I do she kind of withdraws from me to disconnect from the pain. In doing so the rest of our sex is mechanical on her part, and she just goes through the motions.

She told me she does it for me, and I appreciate that, but when she is just laying there taking it and obviously hating it, it takes the excitement out of it for me. So we are going to keep slogging along and trying to make things work, but my hopes aren't going to be high that she will change much.

I just wanted to let everyone know where we stood. I hope you all have a great weekend.



  1. The up-side being that at least you are getting sex? :s I'm sorry things havent been so fulfilling for you recently... I'd help if I could!
    Hope your weekend goes well!


  2. vanilla is contagious. is there a vaccine?


  3. Having an online sub might help you get your needs met before you implode all over your marriage.


  4. I'm sorry things aren't the best (sex wise) for you.

    Sending you good thoughts. Take care. Sky

  5. My experience has been that sometimes a vanilla interlude is necessary...a kind of respite from the kink. After awhile both partners realize how much they miss the other flavors, and it makes leaving vanilla behind again much sweeter...

  6. Thanks for giving us an update. I'm really hoping Jake is right! Hugs, mg